lessons about hot water bottles

I asked for a hot water bottle for xmas. I have never used one before, and it took until now to try it. S, my human heater, does not understand why I would want to add more warmth to the bed, so I took the opportunity to use it last night while he is away for work.


The instructions made it clear that I should not use boiling water. I'll admit, I was doubtful that hot water from the bathtub would be effective, but if anything, it gets hotter inside the bottle. It's still warmish this morning. Score 1 for the instructions!


I also discovered that it is not very moveable - once you curl up with it, it'll be there until morning. I tried to shove it to a different position, but it doesn't slide very easily between the sheets. In the end, it was easier for me to move around it, rather than the other way around.


I don't think S will enjoy it very much, but I have something to keep me warm when he's not around now. Thanks again to my sister-in-law for the gift!

comments

i have changed the permissions on my blog, so you should be able to leave a comment now without remembering your blogger password (mamasita and lilsis.) you will be asked to verify one of those squiggly words - i hope this keeps the spam away.

i have also added a "subscribe to" button on the right-hand sidebar. personally i don't see much use for it - it's easy enough to bookmark an RSS feed without it - but it might help for people on different browsers and operating systems.

i'd love to hear from you!

seen the sidebar?

just a quick update to my blog, allowing you even more voyeuristic ways to peer into my online life.

follow me on twitter...

and read things i have bookmarked on del.icio.us.

i am brandarling on both sites.

you might also want to bookmark my RSS feed (*cough* mom, pop, big al *cough*) so that you can keep up with my recent adventures.

i would recommend del.icio.us to anyone who finds interesting things on the web, but cannot find them again later. it's a great alternative to adding another bookmark to your already-long drop down menu.

i'm not so sure about twitter yet, but maybe if more of you join and follow me, and i can follow you, then we can carve out a little corner of the web for ourselves...

what do you think? tell me, what are you doing right now?

thinking of others

pretty shiny things

this week has been lovely and warm. the perfect time to bring out sparkly bling and color!





my toes are enjoying the sunshine, too. do you like my new birkenstocks? these are actually a pair from last year's flowery crop; i was disheartened to discover that they're only making solids this summer. but never fear, the internet came through and now i have happy feet.


i keep thinking about this song by paolo nutini:

Hey, I put some new shoes on,
and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
it so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
but long on time,
slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
and i'm running late,
and i don't need an excuse,
'cause i'm wearing my brand new shoes

it's rare for a man to capture accessory adoration* with such eloquence, but in this case, paolo's right on the money.



* i can't think of a better way to describe this, but m knows what i'm talking about. accessories make all the difference. shiny, sparkly, blingy things make me happy. jewelry and scarves. fun shoes. beads, sequins, rhinestones, long flowy ribbons. all that cutesy girlie stuff. so there. now you know. and i'm going to keep on smiling, because i've got my new shoes on and everything is right...

brandarling.com

i'm a dotcom!

did you notice that my URL changed? don't worry - brandarling is still hosted on blogger, so your bcuk.blogspot.com bookmark will continue to work. but you can now google me! (kinda. my full name is still virtually unknown on the www and i'm perfectly happy with that.)

and when i get around to it, i'll change the brandarling header, too.

stay tuned!

the kindest rejection letter

i received three emails from (a prominent employer in london) yesterday. i have edited them for your reading pleasure. they are listed in the order in which they were received. enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

From: (Really Cool Organization That You Dream Of Working For)
Subject: Job Reference 1234

Dear Applicant

Further to your application for the above role, we regret to report back that the recruitment panel have decided not to take your application further on this occasion.

As you can imagine, we were overwhelmed with the candidate response to this post and it has been encouraging to see the manner in which the (really cool organization) has captured the imagination of so many people within your profession. We are keen to harness this interest and will alert you of any roles that we think may be of interest to you in the future.

May we take this opportunity to thank you, on behalf of the (really cool organization), for your interest in this position and for taking the time to apply, and send our apologies for being unable to write on a more positive note.

Kind regards
The HR & Recruitment Team

- - - - - - - - - - - - -


how nice is that?! i particularly like the apology.


next i received this one. note the different job reference number.


- - - - - - - - - - - - -

From: (Really Cool Organization That You Dream Of Working For)
Subject: Job Reference 4321

Dear Applicant

Further to your application for the above role, we would like to invite you to attend a preliminary interview on 2nd, 3rd or 4th October. Please call XXX (020X XXX XXXX) on Friday 22nd September to arrange a convenient time. The slots will be allocated on a first come first served basis.

Kind regards
Recruitment Team

- - - - - - - - - - - - -


wow! that was unexpected!


but soon after, i received the third message. again, note the reference number.


- - - - - - - - - - - - -

From: (Really Cool Organization That You Dream Of Working For)
Subject: Job Reference 1234

Dear Applicant

Re Job Reference 1234

We have been experiencing some IT problems today which has affected our recruitment database.

You will have received this morning an email informing you that your application would not be taken further on this occasion. Subsequent to this email you may have received a second email in error asking you to contact us to arrange an interview for a (different) position. Unfortunately this second email should not have been sent to you. Please accept our sincere apologies for the confusion this has caused.

Kind regards
HR Recruitment Team

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

sigh! at least they're polite about it...

more spam mail poetry

it has been a while since i last displayed some choice spam message subject lines and spam names, so here are some more direct from my inbox.

Marco Hall writes: "squalid brute. He is not reticent out of imbecility or mental weakness."

ShannaHurst leads with: "You think that you own the world, and you must admit you are wrong."

Darla Coffman reports: "from such a source, Okoya considered himself utterly defenceless."



(is anyone else reminded of w?)

rounding down

Let's step away from marital bliss for a minute and play a game. Ready?



Say you gave me a jar of jellybeans in exchange for use of my nice purple car. We agreed that you would give me another jar of jellybeans every month for about six months. I wasn't sure about the exact timing because I am planning to sell the car, and you weren't sure about the timing because your driver's license was due to expire soon and you weren't sure you could renew it in time. I also asked for jellybeans instead of money because I don't want to pay taxes - no one needs to know about our little "arrangement."



Anyhow, everything was going fine. You were driving the car (I still needed it for the first three weeks, but I sat quietly in the backseat and you barely even noticed. That's why I didn't reduce the number of jellybeans that month or contribute for the petrol.) I placed an ad for the car and people started making appointments to see it. They even opened the glove box and saw the personal items you had stored there. But all of a sudden after five months, you told me that your license was not renewed and you could not drive anymore. I was very kind and said that I would simply keep the extra jar of jellybeans instead of asking you to give me the sixth and final jar. You were sulky, but saw my point. Fair's fair.



The good news is that your license was renewed and you found a new car with a handsome driver. Then I found someone who said she would like to exchange some jellybeans for the privilege of driving my car. So I told you that I would give you back 195 jellybeans. But you wanted to know how I got that number. You cleverly figured out that I was offering 17.75 jellybeans every day for eleven days (which really should have been 18 whole jellybeans for twelve days, but who's counting? I'm being generous by offering you anything at all.) Then you told me that you thought I should give you 18 jellybeans for 16 days since you had to give up the keys a few days before she could start driving it! As if! It's not like you don't have your own car now.



Clearly, you broke our six month agreement. OK, OK, I said it would be flexible at the start, but I decided that I liked getting jellybeans every month and even got a second car, so I need your jellybeans to pay for it. It's only fair. And I am being more than fair by giving you 195 jellybeans back.

***

So, that's the end of the game. What would YOU do?

a) Accept the 195 jellybeans but grumble that I am a petty, number-challenged person who is very flexible, as long as things go my way? (I think that is very unfair of you, by the way. Remember, you put me out by losing your license in the first place.)

b) Insist on getting the full 288 jellybeans that you think you are entitled to. And probably are. I'm just so sure I'm right that I'm not about to give in. And you risk getting no jellybeans if you push me too far.

c) Write a sarcastic blog about it.

d) Fight back. Bullies like me deserve a taste of their own medicine. You're not afraid of having things get ugly in small claims court.

e) Move on, and hug the handsome driver.

f) Any or all of the above.

haiku for the unemployed on a grey london day

bloody cold today

stay home under warm duvet

nice to have no job

great british design quest

found this link on the BBC website:

great british design quest top 10

go vote for your favo(u)rite. what will it be?

the red phone box?

the concorde?

the underground map?

lara croft tomb raider?

in other design news, IDEO was at the davos world economic forum, talking about "building a culture of innovation."

click here for article

in the news

i have been enjoying the news this week.

i am all in favor of the full ban on smoking in the u.k. i am somewhat bemused by people who claim that banning smoking infringes on civil liberties. i choose not to smoke. my decision does not affect the breathing air, lingering-smoke-odor-on-clothes, or health of anyone around me. if someone chooses to smoke in public, their decision impacts me as well. how is their freedom to smoke greater than mine not to? i don't see it. bring on the ban...

i have also been following the story of dick cheney's hunting accident partly because i think it's funny, but mostly because i want to know what happens next. as far as i am concerned, this is just one more reason for gun control.

i am also watching the olympics in torino, albeit bittersweetly, and only when i can catch a bit on s's TV. i really wanted to work there... sob!

the one story that i don't understand at all is the cartoon fury. so i won't comment on it here.

as always, however, my favorite news comes from the daily show. true reporting genius.

visa hopes

yesterday, i sent off my application for "highly skilled migrant" status in the u.k. it is different from a work permit in that, if i get it, i will be able to live and work here on my own terms. i won't be tied to any particular company - in fact, i could even start my own business if i were so inclined. the HSMP visa is valid for one year initially, renewable for up to four (five?) years, and eventually allows holders to apply for naturalization (or naturalisation; i guess if i want to consider permanent residency in britain, i should learn how to spell things with extra u's and s's instead of z's - by the way, that's pronounced "zed's." but i digress.)

here is the bad news: it is very difficult to obtain an HSMP visa. you have to obtain a minimum 65 points in several different categories. depending on how they judge my application, i could get 60 pts, 75 pts (2 different ways), or 90 pts. i figure that the odds are in my favor, since i am above the requirement in three out of four scenarios.

it's funny - my views on immigration are changing as i realize (realise) more and more that my future lies outside the u.s. all i want is to be a productive member of the society i choose to live in. one of my friends even suggested claiming political asylum from george w's team america (f*ck yeah!), but i wasn't sure if i would have to swear allegiance to tony blair instead. i would rather be able to choose where i live based on factors other than politics, and have the opportunity to stay here without being forced into a marriage of convenience. why should that be so hard?

anyhow, i have my eyes on the prize: i am visualizing the happy day in a few weeks when my application is accepted and i am welcomed to stay here as a highly skilled migrant. it just HAS to work out.

by the way, for all you uri geller fans, i just noticed that i started this blog entry at 11:11 AM, a fortuitous sign indeed. although the current time is 11:29 AM and i usually change the time to reflect when i finish a post, i am going to keep this one as is. i need all the luck and wishes i can get.

oh, and on that note, today's lottery is up to 85 million euros!

spam mail poetry

i'm sure i'm not the first person to post spam mail nonsense on a blog - i'm certainly not looking for a gold star for creativity. i just happen to think that some spam mail messages deserve public notice.

i wish i could write as eloquently as the (computers? humans? monkeys?) who generate spam mail messages do. look at the following unedited spam mail subjects. don't they make you smile?

reykjavik cayenne horntail arragon blimp

and hourglass excelsior
(sounds like a christmas carol. in excelsis deo...!)

may mitre, in exile
(consider yourself warned!)

try vermilion polaris

omission can't carla stein verisimilitude
(i think we should all start carla steining verisimilitude.)

it's almost tempting to open the messages just to see what further beauty lies within. ALMOST. and how about the names of the "people" who send them?

collin norbert
(i'm sure this is the name of a cabbage patch kid doll)

alric mcintomny
(alric's just not that mc-into-me...sob!)

more to come as the spam mail poetry project continues...

***

update: jan 13
my buddy in essex emailed to comment that she and a colleague keep a list of "namos del bizarro" that they receive as spam on one of their work email addresses. her highlights to date include:

Baron Patsy
Crocodile T Parcelled (i like this one)
Mohammed Nance
Cannon Horseflesh (ewww!)

meanwhile, sitting in my spam folder is a message from flanagan andrade. sounds like a high-roller who would be found at the baccarat table next to james bond in some monaco adventure...